We are slowly getting ready for baby around here. Six more weeks to go. I remember thinking that when I got to six weeks that we would officially be getting close to meeting our little girl. Here we are! Today I'm talking about wishes for once the baby comes and keeping your favorite people in the loop.

When we had Matilda - I'm going to be honest - it was overwhelming. Although people meant so well, I feel like not a day went by for weeks without visitors and often visitors tend to linger. Being the wanna be hostess that I am, I spent way too much time trying to keep the house clean and to entertain visitors. This article really resonated with me. I'm trying to keep Gloria's suggestions in mind for when my loved ones have babies. It's so understandable to be overexcited and to perhaps overstay your welcome (guilty!).

A few things that I want to do differently this time...

  • After we get home from the hospital I would love a few days with just the four of us. A chance to connect as a family without interruption.
  • I'm kind of funny about social media and I'm a bit of a control freak (ha - just being honest!), so I really don't want any candid shots of the babe/me in a hospital gown landing on facebook, etc. especially before we've had a chance to introduce baby Graham to the world.
  • I am totally happy with people coming to visit us at the hospital, I remember being a little stir crazy at times and the company was nice. However, I want Matilda to be the very first visitor. So, if our little one comes in the wee hours I want to wait for Matilda to get there before anyone else. It's important to me. Tear.
  • With there being a bajillion ways to get in touch these days, we will probably have a set list of folks to contact first. I hate the idea of our closest friends/ family finding out from anyone other than us or someone close to us that I'm in labor or that she was born (!). We will probably assign someone to help us spread the word. I don't think a woman in active labor should be held accountable.

    My mom told me that a friend of hers put "We look so forward to seeing you a couple of weeks after the baby is born." at the end of all of her thank you cards. Brilliant, no?

    So, that's what I've got. I would love to hear your suggestions as well. Did you put a sign on the door to politely let people know you were resting? How did you spread the word about how much space you needed? It's so tricky because I certainly would be sad if we didn't hear from anyone, I just want a little breather and recovery time. I also think the idea of a "Sip 'n' See" is pretty brilliant. Did you have one?

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    1. I'm not anywhere near to having a baby anytime soon but I so understand when you say you don't want candid shots of you in your hospital gown with the baby showing up on social media sites. I always cringe when I see those and don't understand why anyone would post them.

    2. this is a great post. i felt the same way. i was really over whelmed with all the ppl and i would get really anxious when my new baby would be passed around the room. great link too!!

    3. I didn't post on facebook that i was in labor or even in the hospital. It wasn't until we got home that I finally made the announcement, yet people had already congratulated me!? (I have a similar annoyance with social media and privacy)

      We just flat out ignored our phones until we were ready to contact the world. Of course parents and bffs were called and invited to come visit. We also did not invite anyone over to the house for a loooong time. We just said thank you and "in a few weeks" to people who offered.

      So excited for you, and those clothes are SO adorable and cozy looking!!

    4. I agree with your post completely. My question right now is how do I tell people before hand that I would like space without hurting their feelings? I have a few people in mind who thinks they are welcome to be present right after.

    5. I agree with needing space. We had the unfortunate reality of being in the hospital for five days (long induction, unexpected C-section). My husband had to go back to work the day after we got home. I had my mom staying with me for a week, which was great. But then my in-laws came for a week and it was a total disaster. I kept being told that I needed the extra help since I'd had a C. But it was SO exhausting have people actually STAYING in my house that I wasn't comfortable around. They meant well, of course, but we are very different and I didn't feel like I could cry, swear, talk about my body at all. I finally explained to Peter how traumatic that was for me. I will have VERY strict rules the next time. I think your list looks good. Good luck, lady!

    6. i am LOVING your feedback! thanks everyone!

    7. So, I know this is probably the opposite of your intended message, but this post makes me sad that I won't be able to be there soon after your baby is born. :( I cannot wait to hold her at Christmas, though, and at least she'll only be five or six weeks old!

      I often think of how horrible I would look in a hospital gown after labor and how much I'd hate pics like that being posted. But at the same time, I always really admire women who do, because it's as if they're saying "who cares if I look good? I just did the most amazing thing there is to do!"

    8. Brilliant ideas! I wish I had thought of some of these the first time around, and will definitely remember them next time! Good luck implementing your 'rules,' and I think it's so sweet that you want your daughter to meet the baby first!

    9. I do remember it being very weird when not-so-close people came to visit when we got home. And very tiring when I'm uncomfortable and someone brings over food and stays to eat it with us (what?!) but I tried to be as polite as possible. This time, I'm not having "rules" per se, but I will be more ok with telling people to wait a week or two before coming to visit. Also, I'm ok with other family members seeing Abel before Martha does, but when it's her turn I'd like it to just be me, Chris, Martha, and Abel in the room. And I'm definitely getting that first meeting on video.

      1. ate it with you? ha! that is a first i must say. i'm sure things won't go exactly as i've planned, but these are some things i'd like to try to make happen.:) i am so excited for you and will be right with you on the video camera. memories!

    10. Yesss! Couldn't agree more. I had no idea how exhausted I'd be after I had our daughter, and my brother & his family were already on the way to the hospital (they were driving 4 hours from out of town, very sweet). Thank goodness I had the wherewithal to tell my hubs to cancel all the friends that were planning to come that day, it was just too much for me. It was great to have visitors once I'd had a day to recoop, but then once we got home a cousin (who lives 10 hours away) happened to be passing through town and wanted to stop in. That visit turned into hours & hours and I just wanted to cry. I was so sore, so tired, just learning how to breastfeed, etc. And then my hubs asked my cousin (and her friend who was tagging along) if they wanted to stay for dinner. I could have killed him!!! Lesson learned, and we still laugh about it today. If we do have anymore kids, I'll be implementing rules just like you!!!

    11. I couldn't agree with you more on all points! I really like the idea of a 'sip And see' as well. Wish I would have thought of it first time around, it seems like such a great way to make everyone happy. They get to see the baby later and you get the rest and intamicy you need those first few weeks. I definitely plan on having one with baby number two.

    12. With Elle it felt all out of control. One of the main reasons why we are having a home birth this time. I just don't want people there. I want it to be me and Aaron doing it. And after the baby is born I want Elle to get to hold her baby for as long as she wants without people standing over her the whole time. I want it to be all about the baby and us as a family not anyone else. I totally get you wanting your time after he is born. I'm right there with you!

    13. I LOVE this post! We are expecting our 4th and it is easy to forget how hectic things can be after having a baby. With our first things were totally out of control with visitors who would come to the hospital and stay ALL DAY! When our 3rd was born I made a family member very mad when I didn't want her entire family and my in-laws to all come for the weekend the day after we got home from the hospital. I feel like I made the right choice but I think there is still some resentment! It can be such a special/sacred time after just bringing a new baby home if you are willing to set some ground rules and do what works for your family!


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