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EYES WIDE SHUT

I had originally planned on having a another "losing the baby weight" post today. I wanted to show you just how disciplined I am, "Look at me, I lost five pounds this week!" The reality is that last week I lost more of my mind than weight. My breaking point was when I realized I had turned it to the dreaded facebook crier. You know... the type you hide. Here is a sampler: "I need a peptalk. Who's up for it?!" "Will some kind soul please reassure me that I will sleep again." So embarrassing. The truth is... I require a lot of sleep. I love to go to bed early and when I'm basically up for 24 hours straight, well it ain't pretty. To add insult to injury it seems that when you're having your hardest mothering days that people want to remind you of "how blessed" you are. Of course I'm blessed, of course I love my babies, but dang it just hug me and tell me I will sleep again and that you know it's hard.
I've been pushing myself too hard. Trying to be perfect while under totally crazy circumstances (squatting at my sweet dad's house, renovating, caring for a newborn, husband gone working on the house all weekend, on and on). It's all good, just weird and eating healthy while being this busy has proved to be quite challenging. I should have known better. I'm not giving up I'm just being realistic with myself right now. Things will be so much more normal soon. Speaking of more normal. We finally moved Phoebe's crib upstairs and put her in it and wouldn't you know it she's slept through the night since. Hallelujah!
The walls are up in the house. I am loving getting to see the rooms really take shape. It's super exciting. We also ordered our kitchen yesterday. Wanna hear a funny story? Picture this. We are at IKEA. On a sunday. On the third day of their kitchen sale and after much waiting I pull out my AMEX to make the big purchase. In typical fashion it declined because I never spend that much money. I call to talk to someone and they are experiencing "extra long wait times." By this point it's time to feed Phoebe and she is quiteee unhappy. Sam makes me a little corner in one of the showrooms (you know with the dark wood cabinets that aren't as hot right now) and I nursed her right then and there while on hold. Oh, the hilarity. They put the payment through. Happy ending.

this book has been really lightening my spirits at the end of a long day. highly recommend it.

all photos taken from my instagram

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9 comments :

  1. way to go phoebe! sleeping through the night! any tips or tricks you can send this way?? we are still dealing with waking every 2-3 hours...and naps are few and short. i do not function well on very little sleep at all. last week was bad. i neglected the blog, housework, you name it. sometimes you just have to know when to give in to the exhaustion and not worry about all of the 'extras.'

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    1. oh girl. i feel your pain! for us moving p into her own bed made all the difference. i am trying my best to get bee on a schedule so i've been putting her down at the same time and it's slowly working. she woke up at 4 this morning but i just let her talk for a bit and then she fell back asleep, so jo may not always be hungry. give her a second and see if she falls back asleep. you can usually differentiate the hungry cry. good luck!!!

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  2. Hello my name is phibi, I just discovered your blog, and I liked it a lot. I am a young mom of Madrid, Spain. I am a mother of a child, a baby of 11 months, and I'm also a craftswoman and natural therapist and designer. ! I will follow your blog daily. I invite you to visit my blog if you want.http://thelittlehouseoftheangels.blogspot.com.es/ I apologize for my English. Leave your comment if you want. Greetings from Spain. phibi.

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  3. Oh man, hard to keep all the balls in the air. One day at a time, my friend. You've got a ton on your plate right now so be easy on your soul:)

    We are moving and have had pizza and fast food the last several days. I've thrown in some PBJs and apples but overall we are just eating on the fly. Lots of crackers. My middle child was so proud of herself for eating half a bag of Goldfish yesterday while her parents buzzed around with boxes and screwguns. I might as well just attach Goldfish bags like little feedbags to each kid. Kept em busy alright!

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    1. haha! good luck with your move jayne! oh, the power of goldfish...

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  4. Lesley, thanks so much for stopping by. So glad that there's another Atlantan in the class:). We live on the Westside and adore Seed Factory--in fact, stopping in always gets my creative juices going. Maybe I should thank you for that! I'm sorry that things are so hard--having a second child is an enormous (and difficult) transition, and it sounds like life has piled a lot more on than that. The baby stuff WILL get easier. When my second was about 8 months, I remember feeling like I woke up to myself again. And I bet you're way closer than you think!

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  5. "I lost more of my mind than weight"--LOLOLOLOL. Girl, it's just like that some weeks. You are beautiful and more than competent and yes, you will indeed sleep again. Sorry it's been so tough, but I am very excited to hear that P has been sleeping through the night! Amazing.

    Ikea on a Sunday is basically my nightmare. Wait--make that Ikea on a Sunday with TWO LITTLE KIDS! You are a hero. My friend Tara is currently texting me right this moment from Ikea about how overwhelming it is--and it's a Monday afternoon!

    I've loved our more frequent chats lately. Call me any time. xoxoxoxoxo

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  6. Hi Lesley, as a new mother I love reading your blog! It makes me feel a little more sane after a long day with the babe. I would love to hear how you got Pheobe transitioned to sleeping in her crib after co-sleeping. My little boy is currently only 2 months and I would like to keep him in my room for another month, but I'm already fretting about transitioning him to his crib...especially since he's never slept in his crib (he currently refuses to nap anywhere but his bouncer...unless my arms are up for grabs!). He's sleeping great in our room at night, waking 1-2 times for diaper/feeding, but I'm scared that will all change once he realizes mom and dad aren't close by. Would love any insight!!

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    1. thank you SO much for saying that sarah. look for a post to go up tomorrow. hope it helps!

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