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Identity

So, I'm really into branding and marketing and I keep hearing this expression: "Say yes and then figure it out later," meaning always say yes and then learn as you go. I think this is great advice for people starting out in their careers but not so great for mamas. This weekend I had the overwhelming thought of "my poor family, it must be so annoying being the child and wife of a blogger." I was corralling the girls and trying to scan pinterest for ideas, I was spray painting, I was trying to photograph Bee's room in the darkness of the rain... I was cranky. My car wouldn't start when we tried to go to a birthday party. I felt like I was climbing a really tall hill to nowhere. The pictures didn't turn out, our patio project was tougher than imagined (what a surprise seeing that I'm the mastermind! haha) and sunday night leaves us all feeling exhausted.
My small group just started a new study: Chase Study. In the first chapter we talk about "Identity." Boy did it ever resonate with me. "Identity is found in the distinct characteristics that set us apart and give us self worth. We want to matter and to make a mark on the world. It feels selfish, even arrogant, to admit it. This need possibly lies at the root of every human interaction and achievement. We all need to know why our life counts and what sets us apart, since life is short and there are a lot of us on the planet."

It then goes on to say, "As long as we try to find our significance and worth in ourselves, we will feel disappointed."
 What a relief, right? It's not about us. Something I've struggled with a lot lately is garnering the respect of my peers (in blogging that is). I've worked really hard for a long time and want to be recognized as someone that is relevant and somewhat in touch. Just want to be honest about that because I think a lot of people struggle with wanting to be recognized in whatever field they pour their heart and soul into and while hard work and creativity are so good, it isn't so much the end purpose for our lives. At some point there is a cost to everything and we have to have a gut check on what matters most.

I've grown up around doers and makers, so it's in my blood. I love it, but it's just a part of me. Much more than anything I want to be a servant and a light and a wonderful wife and mother. I can only hope through these crazy "learning curve" weekends that the girls have moments of fun and that they know they're loved. I'm learning once again the importance of not biting off more than I can chew and I know that in the end I'll be excited to share all of these projects, just have some fresh perspective today that I wanted to pass along just in case you needed to hear it too. xo

Also... the winner of the PlushRugs giveaway is Alea! Congrats! I'll be in touch tomorrow. :)

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8 comments :

  1. This blog post is so perfect! And it reminds me that I'm not alone in this insane ride...the branding, the marketing, the believing that you're worth something. Being a mom and doing anything else is hard enough but know that your girls will remember all of these special moments because you did it as a family.

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  2. Lesley, this was such a beautiful post! I had to read it twice (okay three times if I'm being honest, I was trying to do too many things at once!) because there was so much in there speaking to me. I won't hijack your blog with my issues, but suffice to say, blogger or not, mama or not, wife or not, you are speaking truth to so many different folks. For all it's beauty, the www has also succeeded in putting a ton of pressure on us in a myriad of ways. And hey, you gotta give yourself a break- being a blogger is such a new career path (relatively speaking) that you're literally carving the way!! And ps, I can't wait to see what you've been up to in the backyard!!!! xo

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  3. So love this. I'm working through Jennie's book, Restless, at the moment and it is resonating in me just as much as Chase! So love your perspective today that being experienced or recognized in your field is not the end-all. Putting your gifts out there for God's glory and to share His love is the most satisfying thing to work towards, however that may look. Thanks for sharing!

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  4. I'm not a blogger (anymore). I'm not a frequent commenter (not sure why, I just may be THAT MUCH of an introvert). However, I've been following your blog and your work for a long time! I just wanted to chime in to say that I very much enjoy your voice and ideas and perspective! You really are saying something and are being heard and your work is being enjoyed! So, thank you!

    I have a 19 month old and am only just starting to *think* about doing creative projects and carving out time for myself again. I admire your ability to do both things - and at the same time having the candor to question your work/life balance openly. I'm inspired by the beauty you create in your life to share with your readers AND your family! It will having a lasting impact on the lives of your girls in a positive way. I work full time at an uncreative job and wish I had more of that in my life. (If only I could find the time - it is so hard!) I figure (hope) as she gets older it will get easier. ;)







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  5. I only recently found your blog (through Lay Baby Lay), and I'm totally loving it. Your honesty and groundedness (and your home style!) has me lapping up your posts. You speak truth, sister. Amen.

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  6. your girls will surely treasure the amazing things you all did as a family as a result of the career path you have chosen. and how fun that it is all documented through this blog! they'll also, no doubt, be so proud of their mama for following her dreams!! what a great example to set for them.

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  7. So true. Sometimes I find it hard that identities also change with the seasons.... But they do and allowing that to flow makes my heart feel more peaceful about it.

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