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Marriage: It's the Little Things


Can I candidly talk about life lately? I'm at this amazing point in my journey on this earth where I know what I want to do. To have that clarity is a beautiful thing, the rest of the picture is a little more complicated. I've been trying to piece together moments of quiet to get things done, worrying about my babies getting enough of their mama and feeling slightly inadequate all around. One of the worst things for moms and women in general is comparison. The other day I got caught up on some blog reading, which I'll be frank doesn't happen as often as I'd like, and then began a stream of constant inner criticism: "you should be doing things like this" "she looks amazing" "wow, why didn't I think of that?!" You know the drill. I can be paralyzed by those thoughts sometimes.

Sam has been helping me bounce ideas off about what the rest of the year looks like and realistic ways for me to keep a life/work balance. I think that outsourcing some help would probably make the most sense, but it's a big decision. All of this brings me back to marriage and the importance of the "little things." This week Sam has done two things that just really blew my mind and made me evaluate what love and friendship really mean and how to show that to others. Both acts were small and didn't take much time but they filled me with happiness and made me feel truly supported both mentally and physically.

After we got home from the lake sunday night I started scurrying around trying to get ready for monday morning. I made a concerted effort to set up my day and at the very end I got the coffee ready and was so proud of myself for programming it to brew the next morning. Well, at 6:20 pm the coffee began to brew. I wanted to cry. I threw myself a little pity party and got ready for bed. As I was brushing my teeth I heard the coffee grinder. Sam was surprising me with coffee for the morning. He didn't have to do that but he did and it meant a lot.

Tonight I was 1500 steps from making my goal for the challenge and he told me to get up and move while he dictated emails to me and wrote my replies to the first few. I made my goal! It was the first time and it felt so good. He knew I needed that little victory. Hoping to give him some victories this week too. Feeling very thankful for these gifts this week and reminded of the importance of paying attention to them and also being mindful of letting him feel that same love.

These photos are outtakes from our Home Depot shoot. Our photographer, Katie Oblinger, is quite amazing and I almost cried when I saw these photos. She is that talented. Thank you Katie for capturing us so well!! xo

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15 comments :

  1. Oh my word, Lesley. We've never met... but isn't it funny how us moms can just be on the SAME page?? I also have a split life: mommy to two little rascals and running a photography business. I often feel swamped, inadequate, and like I can never ever say I've met my goals at the end of the day. Here's a 'little something' for you today: You are totally inspiring, and I love reading your blog! I know when I feel like I'm at my wits end, He reminds me to be complete in knowing that I'm giving it my all. His peace and joy do the rest. Blessings to your adorable family!

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    1. isn't is comforting to know you're not alone?! thank you so much for the kind words priscilla. means a lot and sending love to you and your little rascals this morning!

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  2. You are so amazing and I love your honesty. I feel like so many people can relate. I bought a pedometer a few weeks ago too and I hate the feeling of going to bed without reaching 10,000 steps (which is nearly impossible if I am not working out). Thanks for being such an inspiration. And I love your family pictures! xoxo

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    1. thank you sweet chanel for the encouragement! the 10,000 steps are challenging but it's such an amazing feeling to hit that goal!! love to you!

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  3. I love you and I love Sam and I really love those girls. 💞

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  4. For some reason, as women and moms we never feel adequate. We always compare ourselves to others and just exhaust ourselves in the process. But for the record, you are incredible and talented and the one the rest of us compare ourselves to. Sam is fantastic and I have no doubt he will always have your back. Ps. love those pictures.

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    1. these pictures are amazing, friend! i love them so much. thank you for the kind words and i know us moms are way too hard on ourselves. xo

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  5. We have never met either but i always read your blog because i find you interesting and inspiring. Don't compare yourself to much to other bloggers, just be you. It works!

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    1. thank you patricia!! that is such a compliment. :)

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  6. There's a lot of discussion about the "comparing mind" in yoga and mindfulness practices. All of those same thoughts you mentioned are present... I've been doing a lot of thinking/reading on this as well. It helps to notice those thoughts and then let them go, with self-compassion. You can only be exactly where you are.

    And YES for what partners and spouses do for each other. Nothing says, "I've got your back" like those little things!

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    1. these are good things to keep in mind. thank you so much nicole for the reminder! hope you guys are doing well!!

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  7. just remember that you are looked up to by so many others (me, included!!) for the amazing mom, blogger, entrepreneur, and person you are. i have had the same feeling lately about marriage and the little things. pete is so great. he really is. he cooks, he cleans, he takes care of the baby without me having to ask. we had an argument a couple weeks ago... on the eve of him leaving for a 10 day trip to london. it left me feeling so guilty because i knew i could be doing more for him. as a sahm sometimes it's so easy to forget that our spouses/partners need some thanks and some time, as well. they need those "little things" just as much ad we do. i am so often guilty of forgetting that... it's something i am working on :)

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    1. yes! our husbands need love too. haha. it is something i forget to make an effort with also but i'm working on it. thank you so much erin for the sweetness. i know the travel is tough. :( so excited for the new adventure though!

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  8. I can totally relate!! Those little things can make such a HUGE impact. Like coming home on a busy day for a very quick lunch and realizing my sweet husband made our bed. Not a big deal at all, but it showed he was thinking of me (he would never care if the bed was made or not) and wanted to help. For your husband to add in helping out with coffee? Total win. :)

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