Can I candidly talk about life lately? I'm at this amazing point in my journey on this earth where I know what I want to do. To have that clarity is a beautiful thing, the rest of the picture is a little more complicated. I've been trying to piece together moments of quiet to get things done, worrying about my babies getting enough of their mama and feeling slightly inadequate all around. One of the worst things for moms and women in general is comparison. The other day I got caught up on some blog reading, which I'll be frank doesn't happen as often as I'd like, and then began a stream of constant inner criticism: "you should be doing things like this" "she looks amazing" "wow, why didn't I think of that?!" You know the drill. I can be paralyzed by those thoughts sometimes.
Sam has been helping me bounce ideas off about what the rest of the year looks like and realistic ways for me to keep a life/work balance. I think that outsourcing some help would probably make the most sense, but it's a big decision. All of this brings me back to marriage and the importance of the "little things." This week Sam has done two things that just really blew my mind and made me evaluate what love and friendship really mean and how to show that to others. Both acts were small and didn't take much time but they filled me with happiness and made me feel truly supported both mentally and physically.
After we got home from the lake sunday night I started scurrying around trying to get ready for monday morning. I made a concerted effort to set up my day and at the very end I got the coffee ready and was so proud of myself for programming it to brew the next morning. Well, at 6:20 pm the coffee began to brew. I wanted to cry. I threw myself a little pity party and got ready for bed. As I was brushing my teeth I heard the coffee grinder. Sam was surprising me with coffee for the morning. He didn't have to do that but he did and it meant a lot.
Tonight I was 1500 steps from making my goal for the challenge and he told me to get up and move while he dictated emails to me and wrote my replies to the first few. I made my goal! It was the first time and it felt so good. He knew I needed that little victory. Hoping to give him some victories this week too. Feeling very thankful for these gifts this week and reminded of the importance of paying attention to them and also being mindful of letting him feel that same love.
These photos are outtakes from our Home Depot shoot. Our photographer, Katie Oblinger, is quite amazing and I almost cried when I saw these photos. She is that talented. Thank you Katie for capturing us so well!! xo
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