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Tip for Moms: You Can't Handle it All

"Our core fear that we can't handle it, that we're not enough, I believe it. I don't think we can handle it, at least not on our own. We're not expected to handle it on our own. Notice that in all the examples in Scripture, God doesn't say, "Do not be afraid. You've got this!" He says, "Do not be afraid. I've got this." That basic truth has the power to overcome all our fears if we allow it to." - Clout by Jenni Catron

I've mentioned before that I've been experiencing a lot of changes and growing pains recently. Nothing like endless summer days, working from home, trying to be a hot wife, raising two spirited amazing little girls, having little to no alone time or girl time, to make you feel spread thin and like a total failure (just me?). I recently sent a defeated email to my group of women that I meet with once a week. We've taken the summer off and I have felt that void. The email went something like this, "I'm drowning, I'm not having fun, my babies are sick, I feel like I can't please anyone, I'm exhausted, HELP."

My friend Emily texted the above quote to me. It was life giving. I thought I would pass it along in case you needed to hear it too. We can't do it all. I was recently talking to my friend Dana and she had me belly laughing about the fact that she had never met any woman who was physically fit, a great mom, kept a clean house, cooked healthy dinners every night, was an amazing friend, successful at work and had an amazing romance happening with her man.

Y'all, I haven't met her either but I admit to wanting to be her! The truth is, it is impossible. We have to make cuts of what doesn't work and plug in to what does. For instance right now I don't want to be tethered to twitter or facebook (read more about that here). Are they great for some people? Sure. Not for me. I got off my personal facebook a few months ago and all of a sudden my mental clutter was half. Praise!

What also works for me right now is going to bed early and waking up early, having an hour of quiet time in the morning - a moment with my God before I do anything else, taking unplugged walks, not trying so hard to please people (cause it's impossible and draining!), living in the moment with my girls, keeping a prayer journal, going on date nights, long talks with encouraging friends, waiting for the right time to respond to texts (it's ok! people will still love you and I hope that my friends know I have that same grace for them). The noise has.to.quiet down.

What keeps you balanced?

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14 comments :

  1. Wow what an amazing post. I am going to be a mom here soon and this is something I worry about. I want to be able to do it all but I know it's not going to happen that way. I loved reading about what works for you and also knowing that no one is perfect no matter how hard we try. Thanks again for this!

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  2. I love the quiet morning time to for myself also. It is a peaceful intro into days that may not be so peace filled.
    I am balanced in knowing that Joe and I are completely winging this parenting thing. The costume I made for Aaron on Fairly Tale Character Day at school is supposed to look homemade! It is homemade! He ate Cheerios, broccoli and hotdogs for dinner last week. Whatevs! He had milk with it so it was totally balanced! Kudos to us for remembering to make the frigging costume and for feeding our tots nutritious meals MOST OF THE TIME. Realize that it is what it is. And we are hot wives!

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  3. So good, Lesley! I am right there with you. We see the facade of other women and take that as a whole to which we compare ourselves. Then, we lump all of those ladies into one person, like you said, and feel pressure to be everyone! It can be so overwhelming and, for me, debilitating.

    I, too, have recently felt challenged to wake up earlier to have time with the Lord before stepping into the strong current of the day. I know that's the most important thing we can do to gain a proper perspective. Afterall, we know Whose opinion truly matters... Right? :-)

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  4. Love this post and Im passing it on to my friends...my super close core 4, they are the women that keep me afloat and I could't do it with out them. We are all trying to wear so many hats all the time and feel like we're failing in so many ways. Its so refreshing hearing you say all this because honestly as a momma who's trying to figure out what in the world my future holds for me because I know someday soon my munchkins will be in school all day and then what? Am I destined to do laundry and dishes all day? Is my sole worth the cleanliness of my home? To be a super wife and mother to my husband and children? Don't get me wrong, I chose this. I chose to stay at home and raise my kids because I cant bear the thought of being away from them all day but I can't help wonder if Im losing a little of me in the process. I look at your blog everyday and I am in awe of how you can make your thoughts so inspiring and entertaining with your words and pictures. I aspire to blog like you one day! Your little blog is now apart of my early morning "me" time and I so appreciate your work! You motivate me to be better without making me feel inadequate! I know our creator has a purpose for me but it is so easy to forget sometimes with all the "noise" so I thank you for your encouraging words!!

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  5. Girl, I have zero children and I STILL can't attain most of the things you listed. I think you're doing pretty great.

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  6. I feel like I just read my own personal journey. Ha!
    I got up early to sneak in some prayer and blog reading....and geez this quote! Need to write it and post it on my forehead. I am so good at forgetting to ask him for help.
    Thank you for this!

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  7. This is absolutely so true! I wish I were the perfect everything, but I am so not!

    -Hannah

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  8. So glad to read this, I was just thinking today how impossible it is to do everything. Some things have to give....

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  9. Yes, to all of these things. For me, instead of letting myself get frustrated about every little thing, I am working on saying 'ok, what is it about this that I can change, and what do I need to just let go?' And then you know, MAKING the change. A big one is decluttering the house. I'm tired of picking up after everyone all the live long day and having less stuff seems an obvious solution! (easier said than done, though, right?!)

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  10. Exactly how I feel too. Something gets neglected. Right now for me it seems like my career, husband and exercising are low on my priority list.

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  11. Oh! Thank you! This is exactly what we all need -- honest and real. "Nothing like endless summer days, working from home, trying to be a hot wife, raising two spirited amazing little girls, having little to no alone time or girl time, to make you feel spread thin and like a total failure (just me?)." No, not just you! I feel that way all the time. Except I have two spirited boys. Thanks for the reminder that I can't do it all. And I shouldn't want to right? My cup is way more than half full and I am going to try to stay focused on all the happiness that this crazy life/job brings. Thank you!

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  12. I sooooo love this. Thank you!!

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  13. Amazing post, Lesley. This is exactly how I've been feeling the past few weeks. xoxo

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  14. This is absolutely true! I wish I do perfect everything, but sometimes I make a mistake. Thanks for the lovely share. Keep posting!

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