Last week was a serious whirlwind. After being out of town for two weekends in a row and having plans every single day of the week, we headed to the pool friday morning to meet friends. I gave Matilda her first french braid. She was so excited to go swimming with her friends. We got to the pool and Matilda absolutely loves the water. It was a wee bit chilly, keeping a lot of us ladies comfortable in our lounge chairs. Matilda jumped right in chattery teeth and all. She was swimming to the other end of the pool, kicking with her friends, and then... I could see the unwinding happening right before my eyes. She started acting really busy (trademark tired sign), taking the other kids' toys, taking hats off people's heads, whining, crying, begging people for their food even though I had brought a pretty amazing lunch (if I do say so) with her favorite foods. Can we talk about "bars" for a minute? That child wants one if anyone has them, it's like nothing else can compare. They always seem to appear at play dates. I bring 'em too but gravy the power of the bar.
Back to my child's meltdown. You saw this coming? Before I knew it we were in full blown tantrum "I don't like you" mode. I left barely covering my butt with my towel, child on my hip screaming in my ear, two bags on one arm, you know the drill. Pretty sure the landscaper got a real nice view of my pregnant rear. I threw my child in the car seat, ripped off her swimmies, started the car and drove home in silence to, "I'm sleepy" "I'm so tired" "Wahhhhhhhhh." I literally almost went into a pregnant rage when the driver of a Mercedes honked at me when I went to fix my hair at the stop sign. It was a hot mess.
At the risk of vulnerability (do I ever shy away from that?), as a mother I struggle with other people judging my child or me. I know that Matilda is a tender, warm, loving, hilarious, intoxicating child, but sometimes people see her very worst. We had a breakfast date the same week that went up in flames. I don't judge other moms or their kids but I hear people doing it and I say karma's gonna get you on that one. I just feel fiercely protective of my child and at my wit's end at the same time. We had really coasted for the front part of three and then the sky fell. I know, I know I'm sure it has something to do with the baby/age/me working from home. I've recently taken on some more freelance work which is amazing but sometimes I struggle with juggling it all. I don't have any help and last week I took her to mother's morning out and I felt like a new person. I felt like it was so good for both of us.
Have you been right here where I am? Care to share some sage wisdom? Hugs in advance.
