EYES WIDE SHUT

I had originally planned on having a another "losing the baby weight" post today. I wanted to show you just how disciplined I am, "Look at me, I lost five pounds this week!" The reality is that last week I lost more of my mind than weight. My breaking point was when I realized I had turned it to the dreaded facebook crier. You know... the type you hide. Here is a sampler: "I need a peptalk. Who's up for it?!" "Will some kind soul please reassure me that I will sleep again." So embarrassing. The truth is... I require a lot of sleep. I love to go to bed early and when I'm basically up for 24 hours straight, well it ain't pretty. To add insult to injury it seems that when you're having your hardest mothering days that people want to remind you of "how blessed" you are. Of course I'm blessed, of course I love my babies, but dang it just hug me and tell me I will sleep again and that you know it's hard.
I've been pushing myself too hard. Trying to be perfect while under totally crazy circumstances (squatting at my sweet dad's house, renovating, caring for a newborn, husband gone working on the house all weekend, on and on). It's all good, just weird and eating healthy while being this busy has proved to be quite challenging. I should have known better. I'm not giving up I'm just being realistic with myself right now. Things will be so much more normal soon. Speaking of more normal. We finally moved Phoebe's crib upstairs and put her in it and wouldn't you know it she's slept through the night since. Hallelujah!
The walls are up in the house. I am loving getting to see the rooms really take shape. It's super exciting. We also ordered our kitchen yesterday. Wanna hear a funny story? Picture this. We are at IKEA. On a sunday. On the third day of their kitchen sale and after much waiting I pull out my AMEX to make the big purchase. In typical fashion it declined because I never spend that much money. I call to talk to someone and they are experiencing "extra long wait times." By this point it's time to feed Phoebe and she is quiteee unhappy. Sam makes me a little corner in one of the showrooms (you know with the dark wood cabinets that aren't as hot right now) and I nursed her right then and there while on hold. Oh, the hilarity. They put the payment through. Happy ending.

this book has been really lightening my spirits at the end of a long day. highly recommend it.

all photos taken from my instagram

twitter/ facebook/ pinterest/ instagram